After writing about where I spend time online, I’ve been thinking more about why most social media doesn’t click for me anymore. The short version: it feels too performative. Posting starts to feel like homework, and keeping up feels like work.

What I’ve realized is that I’ve been using Discord more and more — especially for sports talk — and it scratches the itch in a way the big networks don’t.

I’m of two minds about it. On the one hand, the experience is so much better when there’s an admin who keeps things on track. On the other hand, that also means conversations happen in private rooms instead of on the open web. I want Mastodon (and maybe Bluesky) to succeed because I believe the open web needs to survive. Discord is closed, and that’s a drawback.

The app itself is kind of a mess too. So many updates. But the communities I’m in are filled with generally funny, kind people, and it feels more like actually hanging out than yelling into the void. It’s real-time, so you don’t feel pressure to read every post or “catch up.” You just drop in, chat for a bit, then move on with your day.

So yeah — even with all its faults, I’m using Discord more than any of the so-called “social” apps. It feels casual. It feels low-stakes. And most importantly, it feels fun.